Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Query letter #17: fiction

Dear Agent,

Tim Webster [now all I can think of is the Ten Network sports presenter :\] knows certain things. He knows things others don’t, things others can’t. Things others wouldn’t want to know. Tim knows exactly how long certain people have left to live. [Great hook.]

Living his life through ignorance [Meaning? He's ignorant of his skill? Ignorant of something else?], Tim has created for himself an essentially meaningless existence. He works at a local bank as a security guard, has few friends, and only finds solace in the arms of his girlfriend, Katherine Willow. He ignores his visions; happy to let people pass away, he defends, as fate intends.

Until fate finds Katherine.

Racing towards a deadline of only eighty-eight hours, Tim must piece together the mystery behind Katherine's death before it happens. As he delves further into his investigations Tim becomes entangled in a series of grisly murders, and soon realises that his own time may also be rapidly running out. After a life of selfishness, Tim must finally embrace the responsibility of his ability in order to save the woman he loves, discover how much he is willing to sacrifice, and find out whether or not he can change fate.

And, perhaps most frightening of all, in his search for a killer – [misplaced dash - it breaks up the rhythm of the sentence too much] Tim might just find exactly what he’s looking for.

FOREWARNED is Tim’s own recount of his search for a killer [this makes it sound like a true story - better to just not mention who the narrator is]. It is complete, at 70,000 words. Thank you for your time.

Author B

Overall: a great pitch for the story, but a bit thin on other information.

What you haven't mentioned: your writing background, if any, and where you think this fits in the wider world - is it a horror story or a love story or a thriller or a combination? What authors do you read in this genre? Are you writing anything else?

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