(Please note this book is finished, edited, and is 165,000 words in total)
Overall: fail. That was not a query letter, that was a synopsis with a 'Regards' at the end. And it was a confusing synopsis at that. There is just far too much detail here. If you need to take this many words to tell me what your story is, you don't know what your story is - and that's one reason why writing a query letter can actually help your storytelling, because it forces you to think about what your story really is and who it's for.
What you haven't mentioned: who's your reader? What, actually, is the genre? And the word count should have come in the body of the letter.