Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Query letter #11: romance fiction

Dear (Agent)

I recently completed “A Heat Of The Moment Thing”, an 89,000-word contemporary romance with humour, and I hope you will consider representing me. [Good - title, genre, word count all provided and I can read on with this in mind.]

Becky Jansen doesn’t do relationships. She can barely manage a one-night stand. But put her in a swimming pool, add a close and bloody encounter with the wall and she’s scored herself the hottest guy ever as her hero. [Great hook. 'Close and bloody encounter with the wall' is ambiguous enough to make me think you're writing in some racy subgenre I haven't yet discovered.] On her return to work, there he is. Hot guy. Her new boss. She might have been interested before, but not now. Hell, no. Work and personal just don’t mix; been there, done that, got the scars. But Matt’s confident, he’s got her in his sights, and he’s making it damn hard for her to say “no”.

Becky needs a distraction—fast. Charlie is the perfect solution. Rich, good-looking and a shameless playboy, he’ll keep things simple and that’s just what she needs—or so she thinks. But a Matt-versus-Charlie altercation isn’t her idea of simple. And when her sister gets involved—that’s when things become downright complicated.

[Good, good, all good - you've kept the description short and sweet and loaded it with hooks.]

“A Heat Of The Moment Thing” is my debut novel. It has placed in both US and UK writing competitions. [Again, concise and useful. And if I want more information I'll ask you - I actually don't need all the details of the competitions at this stage.]

Although my CV reads economist-turned-teacher, I currently juggle motherhood, lecturing and freelance writing. However, my career aspirations are in full-length fiction. I am working on my second novel, with concept plans for a further three. [Great - I know that you're writing because you love it and that you have kept on writing - you're not just pinning your hopes on this particular project.]

Many thanks for your time. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely

Author K

Overall: gold star. Even if romance isn't the agent's genre, you've provided enough information for an agent/publisher to make up their mind.


Unknown said...

Sounds simple enough. NOT! I wish my query letter looked like this rather than how it does at the moment. Of course the virtual scissors weren't a bit of help. And all the cursing was probably unnecessary but it sure felt good. That counts, right? Oh, and is having wine while you write it mentionable? Kind of like getting your name right on your SATs.

Maggie Le Page said...

Thanks so much for the positive feedback, Agent Sydney. Much appreciated. It's nice to know I'm on the right track. :)

And to T C Mckee - believe me, I've sweated blood and tears over that QL for a loooong time. Oh, and yes, the wine helps!